My Computer Is Having Human Babies!
by Banana4422
Summary: The gang popped out of my computer! See what Nix and Merry Harris do with them next, and what happens when a soc comes out of the computer! No flames please! Summary sounds crazy but it's not that crazy I promise, R&R!
1. Nachos, Mouse Poop, and a Gig

Disclaimer: I own Nix and Merry Harris. Oh and Kyle and Mary.

Ok here goes!

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**Chapter One**

"Ah fuck! MERRY!" I yelled running down the stairs. I took my shoe off and threw it at the pudgy figure on the couch.

Merry shot up immediately. "Gah, what now Nix, I was sleeping."

"Were you eating cheese covered nacho's over my computer? _Again_?" I glared at her.

Merry sat up and looked at me blankly. "Uh um, why do you want to know?"

"Cause there's mouse shit all over the key board." I snapped. Merry was silent. I sighed; I had a tendency to be very impatient, if you couldn't guess by me throwing a shoe at my sleeping sister instead of waiting to talk to her later.

"Well, maybe I might have _done _something." She said, scratching her head and pretending to think.

"Let me guess you where up late again typing up your fan fic stories?" I rolled my eyes. I have nothing against fan fiction, but I do have something against mouse shit and nacho fingers on my stuff.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I was ok?" She said yawning.

"Oh just give it up Mer, Legolas is not going to come through the computer screen and marry you." I told her.

"Oh puh-lease Nix, I'm done writing Legomances. I moved on." She said as sophisticated as her fourteen-year-old voice could muster. I laughed at her, causing her to laugh as well.

"So what are you writing now?" I smirked.

"An outsiders story where the whole gang pops out of my computer and Two-Bit marry's me. He digs blondes." She said grinning and flipping her blonde hair. Too bad she has little experience flipping her hair and she flipped her glasses off instead. I caught them and threw them back at her.

"Yeah, really nice there Merry." I said sarcastically.

"Yeah you wish you had my looks." She said standing up and striking a pose. I looked at her. Merry was my fourteen-year-old sister whom wore brightly colored clothes that often mismatched. Today for example, she was wearing bright pink leather pants and a camouflaged green shirt. It didn't help that her pink pants where skintight and her shirt was huge on her; it made her look larger than she actually was.

Merry wasn't overweight or anything, she just had a little bit extra baggage. I always thought it was because she spends too much time in the house and never goes outside. The only walking she does is to the computer, bed, or kitchen, and occasionally to the TV. Aside from the clothes, she had nice blonde hair and blue eyes. She was actually pretty, but one might not realize it from her clothes.

"I might wish I had you looks… if you took fashion advice from me." I said, trying to not tell her, in a harsh and obvious way, that her clothes looked as weird as she really is, and trust me she is quite weird. She worships N'sync and was a diehard Lord of the Rings fan (she learned elvish too). If you look as the standee of Legolas in her room, it's completely covered in her saliva that it looks like it's about to sag to the ground. One of her weird traditions is that every first of the month, she lights socks on fire, puts the fire out and shoves it down her pants. She found some of her old underwear, put it on her head so that it all piles up, then somehow turned it into a ball named the 'Undieball'. She still plays with it. I could go on, but I won't.

(**A/N**: I have nothing against people who do/have done/are going to do this. Some of this might not seem weird, but I'm only taking this out of my sister's definition of weird. I don't think some of this is weird… some.)

Yeah you might wonder why I still talk to her, I sometimes wonder why I do. But she's not that weird sometimes, she's livable, plus my friend Kyle thinks she's amazing and fun to study. Yeah, he's a bit coo coo himself.

Merry rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease, you, fashion? Look at yourself, you look weird." Yup, that word weird comes up again, it's our everyday vocab word. "Whose jeans are those, Kyle's?" She said pointing to my baggy jeans.

I looked down at my pants. I didn't see anything wrong with them; they were just my normal pants being held up by my favorite bottle cap belt that said, 'Five Stories Up'. That was the name of our band. I had my belt customized to say that and I sometimes flashed it to the crowd at the end of our gigs.

"Well, yeah, the ones he grew out of. They're comfy!" I said. It was true, they are. Granted, not as comfy as sweatpants, but they look better than sweatpants.

"Not if they get wet!" Merry argued.

"Dude, ok, I'm sixteen. I'm not about to piss my pants ok?"

"Well why do you wear boxers? It's not like you have a 'you know what' to make it easier to pee." She asked.

"Um, a penis? So I like to wear my pants low kill me. Boxers have better designs on them anyways so its better to show those off than some damn lacy panties!" I said. Merry turned her head to the side and thought.

"Yeah you're right actually, can I borrow a pair of yours?" She asked. Oh I know she would pull them on right over her pants like there was nothing wrong.

"Err, so I have a gig tonight." I said. Changing the subject. "You wanna come? I can get you in if you don't so anything stupid."

"What do I do that's stupid?" She asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and pulling her pants up as high as they could go. I rolled my eyes at her.

"The nachos over the keyboard and the damn mouse shit! Does that ring a bell?" I screamed. Yeah, I can loose it a bit quick I know, but I'm cool now. I'm calm... err, yeah.

"That's not stupid, that's me being hungry." Merry said as a matter of fact. I growled in frustration. I clenched my teeth, refusing to lose it again. I sighed still clenching my teeth.

"So do you wanna come or not?" I snapped.

"Nah, I gotta finish typing up another chapter." She said. I shrugged and went to finish getting ready for my gig. "Oh wait," Merry called. I looked back at her. "You're not gonna wear that shirt are you?" I looked down at my white wife beater.

"Um yes? I was just gonna go upstairs and get the band tie." Yeah well out whole band had one uniform rule, and that was we all had to wear a black tie, or have it with us every gig. It was a kind of good luck thing. Me and some other band mates usually wore it around our necks or stuffed it in our pockets, well except for Kyle and Mary. Kyle was the drummer so he usually wore it around his head so people could see it and Mary, my best friend and a big slut, wore reveling clothes and tied her tie around one of her limbs so it would stand out more.

"Oh ok." Merry said kind of shyly.

"Why, did you do something with it?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"Who me? Of course not!" She said. I thought I heard her mumble 'Except mope up Leggy with it.' But I had to rehearse a bit with the band soon before the gig.

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"Ok guys I think we're good to go." Kyle said.

"Do you really mean that or are you just saying that cause you're eating one of those Taco Bell things?" I asked. (**A/N**: you know those commercials that say 'good to go' and do the funny hand swoop?)

Kyle pretended to look hurt. "No of course not! Do you think I would randomly say that and put our gig in jeopardy?" He asked.

"Yes." Mary and I said.

"Well I think we are ok to go so let's pack up the van and go." Mary said.

"Ok, guys, can you do that for me? I gotta check up on Merry and such." I said.

"Alright, we'll see you at the club then k?" Kyle said, and saluted. I rolled my eyes and closed the garage door.

"Yoooohoooo, Meeeeeerry!" I called heading up the stairs. I figured she was in my room again using the computer.

I jumped a foot and fell down the stairs when I heard Merry scream. "God that hurt. Good thing it was only three steps." I said to myself shaking my head.

"Ack! Get away from me you computer virus alien thing!" I heard her shout.

"Merry!" I sprinted up the stairs and opened the door. My jaw hit the floor at what I saw.

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Hey ok, no flames please! Just tell my what you thought, go easy, it's my first shot at humor!

-Banana4422

Oh, and I would like to thank my beta reader Tiff. And if this chapter sucks, then sorry Tiff, you're fired! Lol jk


	2. Intruder?

Disclaimer: I own Nix and Merry Harris, and Kyle and Mary.

Thanks to the fabulous reviewers, I appreciate it!

**NewGirlOnTheBlock**- Thanks for reviewing!

**Tiff**- Psh you're only saying that cause if you say something bad, I know where you live haha

**Blondie 24-7**- Glad you like it!

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**Chapter Two**

My eyes widened. "Ah who the fuck are you? I don't know you! Merry who's that dude? Merry!" I blurted out quickly.

"Nix I dunno he just appeared!" She said in the same panicked voice I was in.

I grabbed the broom that was next to the door. "Die! Die you little fucker! You aren't stealing from this house! Die you asshole!" The man held his hands up in a karate pose, or so that's what it looked like. He could have been ushering me to stop but I wasn't gonna take any chances, I whacked him with the broom again, but it broke.

"Oh shit." I muttered. "Uh…" I panicked looking for another object. The man stood up slightly crouched over, and headed toward me.

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Merry shrieked and jumped on him. The man collapsed to the floor face down and appeared to be unconscious.

"Yeah Merry!" I grinned. She pumped her fists in the air. "Ok, lets call the police. And erm, you can get off him now."

"Right, ok." She said and stood up but was pulled down by the man.

"Hey you little fucker, I'll kick your ass again if you don't let her go!"

"Hey shut up for a sec, and that broom didn't even hurt, but she did." He said painfully. I opened my mouth but closed it when I saw the blade in his hand.

"Now, now, easy with the blade." I ushered. I got a good look at his face. He wasn't much older than me. He had brownish reddish hair and long sideburns. He sure dressed funny too, but hey maybe that's the new robber look.

"I won't hurt her, if you just let me talk. And don't call the fuzz." He said. "Tell me where the hell am I first."

I narrowed my eyes and took a step forward. "Tell me your name first."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Alright. It's Two-Bit Matthews. Now where am I-"

Merry squealed, and turned around to face him. He looked confused, and looked around nervously. Merry was now snuggling close to him. "Hi Two-Bit, I'm Merry, your future wife!" Two-Bit looked scared for a second, then tried to push Merry away towards me, but Merry was latched on tight like a belt.

"Not so fast. You could be lying. You took a damn name from a book, oh yes I said book. We've all read it you know- I mean it was mandatory in school so…" I said.

"Book? Look kid, I was minding my own business, sittin' on my couch- in my house, next thing I know, I was being thrown forward on to this floor. Which is pretty soft carpet if I do say so myself." He explained.

"Whatever I still-" I began.

"Nix this is the real deal here." Merry said pulling out the contents of Two-Bit's pocket.

"What? Hey, kid that's my stuff." He said.

"Merry this guys some pothead who's a little wacky up there and we should call the police." I said.

"No!" They both said. Then looked at each other. Two-Bit looked disgusted as Merry trailed her fingers up and down his chest and had a daydream look on her face.

"Merry!"

"No!"

"Argh fine we can wait till later, but I have a gig to go to and I'm not leaving you two alone." I said. "Merry go get the handcuffs! And search him!"

"Ooh my pleasure." She said tilting her glasses and winking at him. Two-Bit whimpered a bit.

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"You two stay backstage." I ordered. "And you," I poked Two-Bit hard in the chest. "If you (poke) try (poke) anything (poke), I'll know. I'm watching you mister!" I widened my eye and pointed my index finger at it, then his, then mine again, then his and pushed his forehead with it.

"Jesus Nix, you're cutting it close, good thing we picked the last slot to perform." Mary said from behind me. "Hey who's this?" Mary said winking at Two-Bit. Two-Bit grinned and took a step forward but Merry held him back. Two-Bit frowned sadly till he put on a fake smile when Merry did the eye thing I had just done.

I pulled my guitar on and did a couple scales to warm my fingers up. "Ooh shiny." Two-Bit said and reached out to touch my guitar. I glared and pulled away.

"If you touch my Ray without my permission, I'll cut your fingers off." I growled.

"Can I touch Ray?" He asked. I eyed him.

"Okie!" I said and smiled. "It's my Epiphone, Les Paul. A beauty eh?" I said with pure joy as Two-Bit petted Ray.

"Uh-huh." He said.

"She's crazy isn't she." Merry said.

"Naw, I have my own baby." He said a whipped out his blade. I pulled Merry aside while Two-Bit looked at his knife.

"Merry I thought you searched him!" I whispered harshly.

"I did, all over." She said in a creepy, dreamy way. "Oh, you meant his jacket too huh?"

"Um yeah!" I said. "Heh, Two-Bit, you're gonna have to put that away, ok? Cause we're gonna get kicked out if you don't. Thanks sweetie." I said and turned.

"I ain't scared of being thrown out." He said.

"Well you should be afraid of that huge bouncer." I said and pointed behind him. Two-Bit rolled his eyes and turned around.

"Is there a problem sir?" The bouncer said and folded his arms.

Two-Bit paled. "No, everything's just fine and dandy!" The bouncer grunted and walked away. Two-Bit imitated the bouncer and pretended to shove a stick up his ass. I laughed.

"You know Two-Bit, that was the sexiest thing I've seen you do yet." Merry said and petted (yes more petting), his arm.

"Nix! We're up!" Kyle called.

"Ok, see you guys in like a half an hour. Now ya'll be good now, ya here?" I said putting on a southern accent for no apparent reason then took my place on stage. Five song's later and 50 bucks later (ok really 10 bucks later cause there are five people in the band and it's not exactly a high paid gig, but at least we got paid) Merry, Two-Bit and I were back home. During this small period of time, I believed Two-Bit might actually be telling the truth. He wasn't the brightest person in the world, and even if he were faking it- you really couldn't fake how he was acting. He was pretty clueless. He was checking out some nice looking car, got too close and the alarm went off. It was pretty funny to watch him nearly shit himself.

"Hey did you guys hear something?" I asked. We paused.

"No." Two-Bit said.

"Oh alright." I muttered. Yeah maybe I'm a bit paranoid but better safe than sorry. I heard a noise again this time it was voices.

"I heard that." Merry said.

"Oh great more intruders. Two-Bit you're a big man you go up." I said.

"Big man? Are you calling me fat?" He glared.

"Just go up there!" I snapped.

"Oh fine, but this ain't over." He said and went up the stairs with Merry and me following. The voices sounded like bickering.

"Go on!" I hissed.

"Hey I know those voices!" He said and opened the door.

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Who do you guys think it'll be? R&R!

-Banana

P.S. I'm still looking for another beta reader to get a better feel of what people think, so if you're interested email me!


	3. Bras and Who Sexed Up My Computer?

Disclaimer: I own Nix and Merry.

Thanks reviewers, you're awesome!

**Libertykid**- Glad you find it kind of funny and interesting!

**Tiff**- haha thanks, but the ending did suck!

**Blondie 24-7**- Well I was only planning on just two more people showing up, but that might change lol

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**Chapter Three**

"Well look who we got here." Two-Bit said, roughly. I looked at the two boys in my room. My guess was that they were twins- no not twins but related somehow. They weren't bad looking either, I'm sure a lot of girls would be happy to find them in their room, but I sure wasn't. I don't need anymore robbers coming to my house.

"Well what are you guys doing here?" Two-Bit said, his tone friendlier.

"Wait, you know these people?" I butted in.

"Sodapop Curtis ma'am, and this here is my brother Ponyboy." Sodapop said smoothly and grinned.

"Nix." I gave a quick smile to be polite but my smile soon fell. "I don't know how we got here, I mean we were just hanging out at home and then we ended up on this floor. Which is pretty soft if I do say so myself." Sodapop explained.

Merry squealed and ran over to hug the two new people. Two-Bit relaxed a bit, but then tensed up when Merry said, "Fear not Two-Bitty, I'll still come back to you." And blew a kiss. Ponyboy and Sodapop failed to suppress their laughs.

What the hell is going on? "Ok, ok, where are the damn cameras?" I called out. "Come on, come out." I said searching my room.

Two-Bit cocked and eyebrow and looked over to the Curtis brothers, who looked back. "Yeah she's odd." Merry said.

"Where the hell are those cameras?" I wondered out loud.

"Um there aren't any." Merry said. I paused to think.

I closed my eyes and slapped my face, "Wake up! Wake up!". I opened one eye to see if they were still there. They were still there. "Ehhhh!" I panicked and spun around in small circles and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and opened them.

"Ah! Argh! Ah! There's another one!" I screamed and pointed behind them. They looked back.

"Hey, Johnnycakes!" Two-Bit said. "Welcome to Nix's room!" I groaned.

"Johnny!" Merry squealed and ran over towards him.

"Ok this has to be a dream, people from books don't just appear!" I screamed.

"Nix, they are really here see?" Merry said and licked Ponyboy's arm. Ponyboy jumped back.

"Oh my god, am I gonna get rabies? Am I going to die? I'm gonna die aren't I." He said.

Two-Bit laughed. "Yeah sorry Ponyboy, it was nice know- Ah!" Two-Bit yelped as Merry licked the side of his face.

"Mmm Two-Bit tastes good." Merry said and grinned slyly.

"Yeah, not so funny now is it?" Ponyboy said.

"Where are we?" Johnny asked.

"Good ol' BAWston. Yeah we got Fenway Park, Harvard, and a lot of blue cars." I said putting on a Boston accent.

"I mean how did I get to Boston, I was on my way over to the Curtis' and then-" Johnny began.

"Yeah, yeah, we know. You ended up on my floor and the carpet feels nice and soft." I butt in.

"Well it's getting late and we should get some blankets and stuff for our guests." Merry said innocently and headed over to my closet.

"Sleep here? Wha- fine!" I grumbled.

"You're going up this time. I'm not letting you lift me up again, your balance sucks." I muttered.

"Ok fine, as long as you will support me when I come down ok? You'll support me ri-" She began.

"Yeah, yeah I'll support you like a bra, now get on with it." I snapped.

"Ok, ok!" She said. I boosted Merry up to get the extra pillows and blankets on the top shelf. I sighed in frustration because Merry was taking forever. My eyes wandered around my room, but I stopped to look at my computer. The screen looked like it was a different color, still translucent, but kinda bluish. Before I knew it, a human had popped out of it.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" I screamed and dropped Merry. She landed on Two-Bit and said something along the lines of, "Aw my baby's always there to catch me huh?"

"Merry!" I screamed. She looked at me a glared.

"Hey, you said you'd support me like a bra! What kinda of bra are you to let me jiggle and fall?" She yelled back. "Thank god Two-Bit was here, now he's a real support!"

"Whoo yeah Two-Tit the wonder bra, supports and lifts." I said dryly. "Yeah sorry, but that dude popped out of my computer!" I said. The man groaned as did Two-Bit from hitting the floor with Merry on him. Ok so maybe he's not lifting.

"Hey guys look it's Darry." Sodapop said.

"Soda? Pony? Two-Bit? Johnny? How did you guys get here? I was at the house and then-" Darry said.

"Yeah, yeah we know. You appeared here and found the carpet soft. Save it, we've all heard it." I said. "But you popped out of my computer! I saw it! You all must have!"

"So you're saying that your computer is having human babies?" Ponyboy said.

"Yes! Oh my god, who keeps sexing my computer up? This madness must stop!" I shouted.

"Yeah well some madness must stop…" Darry muttered.

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Short and kinda crappy chapter, hopefully I can get more up soon though! R&R!

-Banana


	4. When I say fnck, I mean the birds & bees

Disclaimer: I own Merry and Nix.

Thanks to my special people who read and review:

**Giraffe Attack**: Thanks, I love your pen name btw.

**Tiff**: Ah you've left for your trip already!

**Blondie 24-7**- Aw thanks!

**Libertykid**- Haha I knew I had to put that in as soon as I came up with the title. I kinda feel bad though, people think that's funny, and it's only sometimes I can produce my random thoughts that people understand. Heh like I could put something random that I think is hilarious but know one gets why. Yeah I can shut up now.

Er yeah, chapa four ay!

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**Chapter Four**

I slumped down the stairs at six in the morning in such a messy way, that someone would think I was drunk. I got about 3 hours of sleep because I thought it would be best to have the Curtis brothers sleep together in my room and Johnny, Two-Bit, Merry and I sleep in Merry's room. Stupid me cause Two-Bit snores, Merry talks and moves in her sleep (unfortunate cause we shared the bed), and well there was nothing wrong with Johnny except he sleeps like a rock so he must have slept fine.

"Hey look who's up." I heard someone say. I looked up to see Sodapop.

"We thought you'd sleep late." Darry said. I sat down at the counter.

"Yeah well so did I."

"Two-Bit's snoring?" Ponyboy asked.

"And Merry's kicking, I have the bruise to prove it." I said and lifted up my pajama pants to show the orange sized bruise. "Hey what are all of you guys doing up so early anyways?"

"We get up this early, it's habit. Soda and I have work, and Pony has school." Darry said, taking a sip of coffee. Yeah I like how they make coffee in my house after being here less than twenty-four hours, and I still can't make coffee when I lived here for five years. It's a simple machine, but it hates me. "Hey Darry, can you get me some coffee, I can't get up." I said as an excuse not to do it myself.

"Wow, sleep that bad?" Soda asked. I half nodded; it was all I could do. Oh I am so gonna get my revenge; I had a plan, but first coffee. As soon as Darry put the cup off coffee in front of me, I put three packs of sugar and cold milk in to cool it down.

"Mwahaha." I said evilly, widening my eyes and chugging down my coffee. "Revenge is sweet. Heh heh heh…" I said. The Curtis brothers looked at each other. I glared. "Hey don't judge me, now I'll be nice and give you my special pillow earmuffs." I said. My pillow earmuffs were exactly what they sounded like, pillows to cover your ears. I had small pillows and numerous rubber bands attached to their heads and mine. I ran down to the garage to say hello to my Ray. Heh heh, yes revenge will be sweet. I plugged Ray in and turned my amp up to 8/9 on every knob (10 the highest) and started playing J.A.R by Green Day. A minute later, I unplugged Ray and set her back on her stand and went back upstairs.

"Oh hey Merry what are you doing up so early?" I said sweetly. She glared at me through her bloodshot eyes. She was about to open her mouth and yell at me for playing so damn loud, but I shoved Darry's coffee into her hands.

I sat down in the living room to watch the early morning Sports Desk and see how the Sox did last night. I sat and watched for a grand total of 2 minutes. Red Sox won 6-5 off Loretta's two run walk-off. I haven't been up early enough for this in a long time, and it's not worth it to wake up early for two damn minutes. I walked upstairs to change out of my PJ's and was greeted by Two-Bit at the top of the stairs.

"Well hey Two-Bit, how was your sleep?" I asked.

"Ok, cept for the awakening… and for feeling like I was molested…" He said grimly. I laughed and went in my room. I pulled on Kyle's old jeans over my Senior Frog boxers, added my 'Five Stories Up' bottle cap belt, put on a dark red tank top and hung my dog tags over my neck. Ragged breathing echoed through my ears. I slowly turned around to see something I was not expecting. I screamed bloody murder and fled down the stairs.

Six pairs of eyes looked at me. "What the fuck is going on?" Two-Bit said, crowding me. My eyes were wide, and I was out of breath. "You wanna know what's going on? Fuck! That's what's going on. Fuck in my room!" I shouted.

"Erm what do you mean?" Soda asked. I stopped breathing so harshly, and turned around to face him.

"Fuck! F-U-C-K, fuck, in my room!" I blurted out. More confused faces. I sighed.

"You know, the birds and the bees?" They nodded. "Well that shit is going on in my room! Ugh gross, nasty naked bodies humpin around on my floor." I muttered in disgust.

"Dally?" Johnny said looking towards the stairs

"Yeah shut up, where's that fruitcake, I'm gonna beat his head in." He said, coming down in MY jeans and wearing MY boxers. Oh I'm gonna have to burn those. Wait, those are my donkey boxers, noooo! Ok maybe not burn, bleach.

"Um, you're wearing Nix's clothes"

"What you want me to walk down here, with out clothes and give people heart attacks at my giant size? I don't do murder." Dally said. Two-Bit and Soda laughed at 'giant size', Darry looked disappointed at his vocabulary, Merry beamed, Johnny and Ponyboy turned red, and I didn't believe cocky little ass one bit. Hmm cocky, bit of irony? Oh yeah he called me a fruitcake.

"Hey I ain't a fruitcake!" I shouted.

Dally looked at me, probably a bit shocked to see I was female wearing some male clothes. But hey, they can come in handy sometimes. If some creepy guy starts hitting on me, I just say I'm a gay male and I stuff my bra. It works. Oh yeah anyways, Dally glared at me. "Well you sure dress like one."

"I don't dress like one! It's the 21st century asswipe, get with it! I'll beat you ass-" I said. Dally glared harder, if possible, and flexed. Or not, I thought. "-in poker." I finished, my voice weakening.

"Dally, what's going on, come on finish with me." A skank said coming down the stairs. Oh god, the purity of my house has vanished! Air feels thinker, it's collapsing and pushing Merry and me down to the floor. I shot up, when I saw what she was wearing. She was wearing my skank top, figures she would.

"You still have your skank top?" Merry asked. All eyes looked at me.

"It was for Halloween ok? We dressed up as whores to get into Whore World so we could trash the place on Halloween night." I explained. I was kinda glad I still had it; she could have infected my other clothes, gross.

"Hey Merry let me talk to you ok?" I said. "And grab the Lysol, I got to re-purify the house." I said glaring at the skank, who was still on the stairs.

"I got it." Merry said and stopped in front of the girl.

"What are you looking at you freak." She said.

"Oh no you di-in't call my sister a freak bitch, it's a family thing and you ain't family." I snapped.

Merry spit in her face and grinned. "Aw that's my sister." I said lovingly, Merry grinned at me. The skank let out a scream in disgust. Merry and I sank to the ground covering our ears.

"Merry she's too powerful!" I yelled.

"What do we do?" Merry yelled back.

"Use the Lysol!" I screamed. Merry bravely sprayed the Lysol on her, but it made the skank cry louder.

"Help!" Merry said clutching her ears.

"Merry move out of the way!" I said and pushed the girl down the stairs. The screaming stopped.

"Argh my hand! It burns!" I yelled. Merry ran over to me and sprayed Lysol on my hand. My hand cooled down instantly. "Thanks Mer!" I said.

"Hey look she's unconscious." Merry said. "Cool!"

"We need to find out why people pop out of my computer." I said studying my computer. "Hey you didn't turn off my computer all this time? Oh that's wasting energy man, we're killing the Earth!" I said dramatically. "Yeah ok back on track." I moved the mouse a bit and got rid of the screen saver. I saw Merry's document of her story. The last thing she typed was 'Dally and Sylvia'.

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Bad chap, I couldn't reach my beta reader so I dunno about this chapter. I'm still looking for another beta reader!

-Banana


	5. Billie Joe &Red Sox Pitcher Josh Beckett

Disclaimer: I own Merry, Nix, and Billie Joe (I know what you're thinking, but I really do own him!).

Thanks reviewers!

**Blondie 24-7**- Thanks for reviewing, yeah Lysol always comes in handy.

**Libertykid**- I know! We probably are just smarter then everyone lol. Yeah I tried to explain to a friend that things are funny when you see them live than when you read them.

**Tiff**- Yup it sure was evil Sylvia!

Ok this chap is a little crazy, might be because I was just watching South Park heh.

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**Chapter Five**

Could it possibly be that whatever Merry typed last appeared in my room? "Mer, look at what you typed last." I said.

"Dally and Sylvia. So… Oh." She said understanding. Yeah so I guess the only way to get both Dally and Sylvia at the same time is when they're banging each other. What else would they be doing, making cupcakes?

"Hmm, what happens if we delete Sylvia." I said pushing the backspace button and erasing her name. Merry and I opened the door enough to fit our heads through to see the bottom of the stairs. Sylvia was still there, lying on the ground unconscious, and also being poked with a stick by Johnny. Maybe I'm supposed to save first. I hit control S and looked outside again. "Hey look she's gone!" I said.

"Oh my god, I poked her and she vanished. What is with the 21st century! No one touch me!" Johnny said.

I pondered. "Hmm could it be that they are slightly different because they took different emotions as they traveled thought the computer!" I said thrusting my finger up like any thoughtful crazy scientist would do… erm except I wasn't a scientist. During my super smart scientist speech (whoa say that five times fast, super smart scientist speech, super smart scientist speech, eh no can't) Merry went downstairs and hugged Johnny.

"No! You'll disappear too!" Johnny said.

"That wouldn't be so bad." Two-Bit muttered.

"You're going to pop away any second." Johnny said. Merry looked at him blankly for a second.

Merry sank to her knees and started shriveling into fetal position. "Ah the horror! The agony! I'm melting!" Johnny looked scared and Two-Bit smiled. "Yeah no I'm not going away." Merry said and stood up. Two-Bit frowned and curled up.

"Hey Nix, Steve isn't here!" Merry shouted coming up the stairs. "Let's see if we could bring him here. She typed 'Steve' in and we waited. A couple seconds later, Steve appeared out of the computer.

"Hey Nix, why isn't he moving?" Merry asked. We stared at his limp body on my floor.

"Ew I hope he's not dead. Merry go smell him, see if he's dead." I said. Merry inched forward and smelt him.

"He smells kinda bad, I dunno if he's dead or not." Merry said.

"Well that's cause you sniffed his armpit." I said. I walked forward and heard light breathing. "Eh ok so he's sleeping." I said. Merry looked around my room and picked up a feather from my pillow. I wasn't sure what she was doing but I didn't really care. She brushed the feather across his face. Steve giggled. I raised an eyebrow. Merry brushed the feather on his face again, and he giggled. I started laughing as Merry repeated the process over and over and Steve kept giggling in his sleep.

"Ok, enough," I said trying to catch my breath. "it's starting to hurt, we should wake him." I said still half laughing.

"Alright." Merry said, disappointed. She nudged him with her foot and he jumped up. "Stevie! I'm Merry and that's Nix, we brought you here cause they rest of the gang is here, by accident of course, except you. You're special." She said and hugged him. Steve struggled but gave up because getting out of Merry's grip is really hard. It's like a brick wall, or a history test, hard.

"Hey, you wanna help me?" Steve said towards me. I shrugged and left for the bathroom. I grabbed some Axe, walked back in, and sprayed it all over him.

"Sorry man, but your pits stink." I said. "Ok Merry, get off of him now so we can… bring Billie Joe into my room!" I said, suddenly excited. Merry groaned and stood up. Steve sprinted out of the room and downstairs.

"No we are not bringing Billie Joe here, he creeps me out." She said.

"Well you brought sexaholics into my room so there." I said.

"Oh fine." She grumbled. I typed in 'Billie Joe' and hit save. Mwahaha Billie Joe Armstrong was gonna be in my room. I squealed like Merry when a figure came out of the computer. I stopped when I said a farmer standing on my room and scratching his head.

"Well hello there Miss, I don't seem to know where I am." He said in a southern voice.

"Hey you aren't Billie Joe, you're just a southern hick." Merry said.

"Oh I am Billie Joe, that's my name. It says William Joseph on my birth certificate." He said. I rolled my eyes and deleted his name from the computer.

"Damn farmer," I muttered. "I'm gonna try 'Green Day'." I said to Merry, and hit save. Nothing seemed to happen but then Merry pointed out that smoke was coming out from the computer.

"Nix you broke the computer!" She said. It didn't look broken. Then it hit me, I heard the name Green Day came from 'pot-filled wasted day'.

"Oh shit." I said and began giggling. I started dancing over towards the computer and Merry started laughing uncontrollably. "Hee hee, bye bye Green Day!" I said and deleted the name. The smoke stopped and I looked over to Merry. "Ha, ha! I typed Green Day and smoke came out! Ha, ha!" I shouted.

Merry giggled. "I think we're high, shhhh don't tell my sister!" She said and giggled again. "Hey, I sounded like Steve! Hee!" I laughed.

"We should go find the boys man, ha get it?" I laughed.

Merry laughed too but then stopped. "No I don't get it." She said and then started laughing again. We stomped down the stairs to join the boys, "Hee they won't hear us coming!" I whispered loudly.

"Boo!" I shouted at the guys in the living room. "Ooh look baseball!" I said and fell down. Merry laughed.

"Hey Nixie Poo! It's Josh Beckett!" She shouted.

I shot up. "Where?" I said and looked around. "Helloooo? You under there?" I laughed and lifted up a couch cushion. "Noooo, he's not there." I giggled. "Oh he's in the TV! I found him!" I shouted.

"Hey you guys are high! You got high and didn't invite me?" Two-Bit said.

I started dancing in front of the TV. I started singing for no reason about Beckett and Merry chimed in at certain points.

"Oh Beckett you so fine,

You so fine you should be mine (woot woot).

Hey Beckett I love you so

I'm gonna wrap you in cookie dough (Oh yeah)

Uh huh, then I'm gonna eat you all up,

When I first meet you I'll say "Hey, sup?" (That's right)"

Merry laughed again. "We are sooooo good! Oh my god, we could like… be famous!" She said some-what seriously. We burst out laughed again.

"Hey look it's Beckett again! Oh you have nice cheeks. I want to pinch them." I said stroking the TV. "Ouch!" I got shocked and laughed again.

"Yeah and his package stick's out a lot." Merry said and slumped over and giggled.

"Ha ha! I was talking about his face though, his cheek's are huge!" I giggled. Our laughs started dying down.

"He has really long legs." Merry said. We tilted our heads to the right simultaneously and studied Josh Beckett.

"Yeah he does." I said quietly. Merry and I started laughing again. And that continued throughout the whole game.

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Yeah the amazing Josh Beckett was pitching yesterday, too bad the Sox lost, would've been his 14th win. Crazy chapter though, R&R!

-Banana


	6. He has no legs, oops my bad?

Disclaimer: I own Merry, Nix, Mary, Kyle, and the soc without legs… er sorta.

Thanks reviewers!

**Blondie 24-7**- Yeah I thought about what would happen if Green Day did show up- and well things would be even crazier and hard to understand. Thanks for reviewing!

**Libertykid**- Your friend sound like some of mine lol thanks for reviewing!

**Tiff**- Yeah Beckett that hot stuff there haha! **He's** on the cover of ESPN yay!

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**Chapter Six**

"Phoenix Bailey Harris!" Mary had said, barging in my house. I cringed at my full name. "We have an audition to get ready for!" Ok I forgot, so I got my days mixed up, not my fault. Getting high wasn't my plan. Ok fine it was my fault my and Merry got high- but it was accidental. Oh yeah, hear that kids? Drugs are bad, don't do them cause yeah, just don't.

"Your name is Phoenix?" Soda asked. I rolled my eyes

"No I was named after President Nixon." I said sarcastically.

"President who?" Soda asked. Whoops my bad; he wasn't president yet I guess.

"So you were named after a bird?" Ponyboy asked. I glared at Pony, Two-Bit, Steve and Soda as they snickered.

"Shut up, you were named after a damn horse," I said to Ponyboy

"Not real-" Ponyboy began.

"And you, Sodapop, were named after something that tastes good or something!" I said. Mary snickered. "Oh that's gross. You have a dirty mind my friend; you stick your head in the toilet or something and keep flushing. It'll cleanse your dirty little mind." I said.

"Then my head will turn blue, remember last time?" She said. I thought back. Oh yeah, I stuck Kyle's head in the toilet for flushing all my picks down the toilet. He was mad at me for a while, till I said I was going to give him a chocolate swirly before but I was feeling nice so a blue one would do. Course I really wasn't going to give him a chocolate swirly, but anyways, the story sums up as Kyle's head was stained blue for a couple days and during our audition we told the manager guys that Kyle was a big Blue Man Group fan.

(**A/N**: I hope you know what I meant by chocolate swirly, and if you don't, the chocolate is number two with the texture of number one. Yeah nasty.)

I laughed out loud with Mary. "Oh yeah guys, this is my best buddy, Mary Vigil, a.k.a. Virgin Mary." I said. Yeah 'Virgin Mary' was a misnomer, Mary looked anything but a virgin. Right now she was wearing a black (extremely) short leather skirt with fishnets and black spiked boots, with a blood red tank top toped with a black one. Her shirt showed about five inches of skin and her belly button piercing. "Mary, these people popped out of my computer."

"Awesome, can you make Green Day-" Mary began.

"Not without getting high." I said.

"Awesome." Mary said. "Now go get changed so we can get this party rollin." She said.

"Alright alrighty gimme a sec." I said and rushed up the stairs to my room. When I opened the door I saw Merry sitting at the computer with a couple of socks around her.

"Um what are you doing?" I asked and put on my bottle cap belt.

"Well tomorrow is the first of the month," Merry said. Hmm I think I need tampons, Kyle kept throwing them at people after sticking some in a bowl full of his urine. Yeah, that's Kyle the Blue Man Group fan for you. Hey, it was either that or take a piss of my roof, but Kyle gets bladder shy sometimes (bad incident with girls and bathroom and such).

"Whoops yeah ok go on I'm listening." I said, coming back from my daze. Ooh my lighter is in my pocket! Yay! I flipped the lid open and stared at the flame. Such a pretty bright light that keeps moving.

Merry cleared her throat. Right back to her. "And you know, I do the whole sock thing-"

"With my lighter!" I chimed in stroking the outside of the lighter.

"Yes and I figured, we need more socks and maybe the gang wants to do it with me too." She said. "So I'm using the computer to get some socks." I pulled on a black shirt and stuffed my tie in my back pocket.

"Erm ok, but I really don't think they'd want to stick stuff down their pants." I said. The computer screen started turning blue again. I ran over to the computer and started to delete 'socks' but everything froze and started to sizzle. A pair of hands emerged from the screen, followed by a head. Ew that head was wearing a nasty pink sweater. I jumped back and screamed a bit after seeing the male that was on my floor. That male had no legs, kinda, he had a bit of his thighs left. Oh whoops my bad, I disabled a poor innocent man.

"Argh! Where the hell am I you stupid bitches!" The man asked. Yeah so much for poor and innocent.

"You're in Boston, welcome." I said dully.

"My name is Merry-" She began brightly.

"Shut the fuck up bitch. I don't need a greasy bitch like you talking to me." He snarled.

Um grr. "Hey, you shouldn't talk to her or me like that seeing how Merry made your legs disappear and she can do a lot more to you." I snapped back.

"Um Nix that was you." Merry whispered.

"Yeah well you typed the word, I only deleted a few letters." I whispered back. "Plus he's scared of you so shut up." Oh I get, he's a soc. First a farmer, then pot, and now a soc, whom at the moment is crying like an ideal Barbie Doll would if she could cry. Hmm coincidence between pink Barbie and the pink sweater the soc is wearing? Maybe.

"Phoenix! We gotta practice! Our audition is in 3 hours and there probably will be traffic!" Mary yelled. Yeah I know, this is great timing, you've done it again Nix, nice job!

"Help me bring him downstairs." I said.

"There's no way in hell you're touching me!" The soc said. I sighed and pulled a jawbreaker out of my pocket. I know, I have a lot of random, but useful stuff in there. I shoved the jawbreaker into his mouth and sat on him trying to tape his hands to his mouth so he couldn't talk or spit the jawbreaker out on my floor.

"Merry come help me." I asked. Merry didn't move. "Merry come help me, _please_?" I asked.

Merry still didn't move. "Nix, remember that movie 'Jawbreaker'?" I nodded. You know that movie when this girl is the second most popular girl in school so she ends up killing the most popular girl in school by kidnapping her and shoving a jawbreaker- oh. Eh whatever, it's not like this guy technically exists in this time anyways.

"Ok fine but if he chokes you have to give him CPR cause I am not going anywhere near a dead body." Merry said. Aw fuck, she has a point. And that was a waste of a jawbreaker.

"Alright fine." I said disappointed. I kept his hands covered over his mouth and shoved his head out of my window. "Spit it out you little piece of shit." I growled. If that jawbreaker fell anywhere near my carpet I was gonna spray Lysol on it the put it back in his mouth and then put his face in the toilet. Well then if he so happened to spit the jawbreaker into the toilet and clog it when his head was still being forced down into it, extra points for me.

The soc finally spit the jawbreaker out, heh, which landed a couple inches away from Kyle and Kyle threatened to kick his ass. "Anyways, there is yet a way to find a way to get the soc down the stairs." I said.

"We could throw him down." Merry said.

"Then there might be a dead body." I said. Merry frowned.

"Oh I know!" Merry brightened and pulled a cookie sheet out from under my bed.

"What's that doing here?" I asked.

"We burned cookies and threw them out of the window at Kyle." She said.

I thought for a second. "Oh yeah, Kyle started bustin' out all these moves trying to dodge the flaming cookies!"

"Anyways, lets tape him down." She said. After we taped the soc to the sheet we slid him down the stairs.

"Bout time you got- arh!" Mary exclaimed. "What the hell is that?" She asked me when I got downstairs.

"Duh it's a midget on a cookie sheet." Kyle said. Oh he came in. "Hey wait, you tired to hurl a jawbreaker at me!" He said angrily.

"The correct term is little people, you douche!" Mary swatted him.

"And hey, you're that dirty little soc that pushed my into a locker!" Johnny said. Dally jumped up and walked over with anger in his eyes.

"Hey what's a douche?" Ponyboy asked. "I've been hearing that a lot, in French it means shower but I don't think-" Having the gang at my house kinda rocks, it gives me a chance to watch South Park (Merry hates it), but we might have to ban South Park because I don't like explaining things to them. Yesterday I had to explain what the word 'pussy' meant. I swear if he turned any redder, he could be a new character on Barney.

"Erm yeah ok time to go! Darry, you're in charge, make sure nothing gets messed up or dirty when I get home! And that includes no blood or dead bodies!" I shouted and dragged Mary and Kyle out the door.

* * *

Bad chap I know, I was a little unsure of it, my beta reader went on vacation. Oh yeah, sorry it's been slow, my weekends are full till school.

-Banana


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